Saturday, July 31, 2010

What if...

A few months ago I began reading the book So Long, Insecurity by Beth Moore. It has now been added to Francine Rivers' Redeeming Love, as one of the two books in my humble but accurate opinion, that should be required reading for every breathing woman!!! 

Wow, it really was amazing. I can honestly say, God is truly using this book to really begin a great and deeply needed change in my life. I could go on and on about all the many things that spoke to me throughout this book, but I'm only going to highlight my greatest treasure from the whole book. You see, it spoke so clearly to me and ministered to me in such a way, I really want Sara, from Sara's Art* House to paint it for me, really huge, to hang above my fireplace. That way I can be reminded daily of His love for me and His desire for me to live the ABUNDANT life.

I'm just going to quote it exactly like Beth put it.... 
"Insecurity feeds like a starving wolf off fear of the future- and not just the distant future of aging, infirmity, or death. Insecurity fears what might happen later today. Tonight. Tomorrow. Next week. Next year. Next decade. Its constant mantra is, 'What will I do if...?' Fear of the future makes people settle for things in the present that completely defy abundant life. It also insults the grace of God that will be piled in heaps for us when hardship comes. We agonize over how we'll possibly make it, yet all the while we can glance over our shoulders and see where God has carried us. And often through worse that what we're afraid of now.
 When you feel that familiar panic begin to rise in your heart like a river coursing its banks and your soul begins to roll with another round of 'What will I do if...?' what would happen if you were willing to hear the voice of God whisper these inaudible words?
 Child, you are asking the wrong question. Here's the one that would assuage your fears:"
This is what I want Sara to paint
"What will God do if...?"
This is what Beth has to say about how God would answer that question...
 "Here's a smattering of answers to that mighty good question.
I, the Maker of heaven and earth, will:
 perfect everything that concerns you (Psalm 138:8, KJV).
work all things together for your good (Romans 8:28).
contend with those who contend with you (Isaiah 49:25).
fight this battle for you (2 Chronicles 20:15).
equip you with divine power (2 Corinthians 10:4).
delight to show you mercy (Micah 7:18).
meet all your needs according to My glorious riches in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:19).
give you grace that is perfectly sufficient (2Corinthians 12:9).
do immeasurably more than all you could ask or imagine, according to the power that is at work within you (Ephesians 3:20)."
Wow, this totally leaves me breathless. Our God is SOOOO GOOD!!!

As I said earlier, I read Beth's book several months ago, but this morning I began to feel that sneaky very familiar feeling of panic begin to rise within me...What will I do if...? What if this happens again...? What if...?!!! I am so thankful God has given us His word to fight the advances of the one who comes to steal, kill and destroy our joy, our peace, our ABUNDANT LIFE. Jesus says, "I have come that they may have life, and have it to the FULL" (John 10:10). I have to say it again, MY GOD IS SO GOOD!!! Praise the Lord, I can go on today, refreshed, assured, and confidently at peace, knowing, He loves me...He is in control...and everything will ultimately, according to His will, not just be okay, but will be perfect in His time.

I sure hope Sara is up to painting this, or I'll be forced to scribble it on the wall!!!
                                          
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Saturday, June 26, 2010

A Father's Day Sermon for this Mother

Last Sunday's sermon totally rocked the foundation of my little world. Here it is Saturday and I am still pondering one little scripture and truly trying to grasp the depth of its meaning as it applies to my life and my family.

My precious husband, who is also my pastor was preaching here, from the 3rd John 4 and Hebrews 11. If you go back and read the entire faith chapter, Heb. 11, the author talks about all the people who walked in faith throughout their lives in spite of great trials and personal suffering. Then it says..."the world was not worthy of them." How many times have I read this chapter and skimmed right over the power in this verse? This is the moment the foundation of my world began to rumble! Monty said, "can you imagine their mother's praying that their children would be imprisoned, beaten, stoned, etc.? But, the world was not worthy of them."

What do we truly desire for our children and is it in complete alignment with what God desires? Do we desire for "the world to be unworthy of them?" I know God does not desire suffering and hardship for his children just as no parent in their right mind does. He simply created us all for the sole purpose of having a personal, intimate relationship with us. But....we know that because of sin in the world suffering and hardships are simply unavoidable. So, do we truly desire for our children to love God with such a passion even if it means they will experience all forms of persecution and suffering? Okay, can you see how this sermon could really shake up a mommy's precious little world?

The best description I've ever heard of being a mommy is "Being a mother is like having your heart walk around outside of your body." As soon as I found out I was carrying each precious little baby God has blessed us with, I was suddenly overcome with a mommies passion to fight to the death for each child if it was required. Immediately upon the doctor placing each child in my arms I was overwhelmed with an indescribable love that nothing in life can ever compare to. So yes, to say I want the absolute best for each of my children, to say, I desire to give them every good and perfect gift would be a drastic understatement! But what is the best? Is it riches and servants and for everything to go their way or is it to truly be completely sold out passionate followers of Christ?

Personally, I've learned in my own life that I wouldn't trade anything for the strength and wisdom I have gained from walking through the fires of life with Christ. Oh yeah, I hate those fires!!! I can pitch a fit and whine and complain with the best of them until I finally submit and let God do his work in my life. But, I know I would take no amount of  money or anything else for that matter, for the peace of Christ and knowing Him and His love that I have gained through these experiences. I don't want my children to attempt to live their lives with the God of their parents, but I want Him to be THEIR GOD! No, I do not want my children to suffer or face unimaginable trials but I also know that it is often what is required to truly know God. So...more than anything, I want for them to have the strength to stand strong when they do come. To passionately depend on Christ for the very air they breathe and for their passion to give them an unfaltering strength to endure. I want them to be willing to go anywhere and do anything God wants them to do. I want them to truly, entirely and completely live their lives for Christ. When the call of Christ comes on their life, I want their first thought to be "Oh, thank you Lord for calling me. I will gladly go wherever you lead." I want the world to not be worthy of them.

I really feel like I'm setting this mother's heart up for unimaginable suffering. These children are my heart. They are my life.


I have to ask myself though, when I stood before God and the church to dedicate each of them to the Lord did I truly give them up to Him as Hannah did Samuel? Did I give them completely to God?

My six year old continually talks about how she wants to grow up and be a doctor and in the next breath she's weeping and talking about how she wants to go to India and take care of all the unwanted baby girls. This actually began a couple of years ago. Monty and I were completely shocked by the depth and understanding of a 4 year old to feel the needs of children a world away. I don't know the plans God has for this precious, tenderhearted little girl, or for any of our precious children. His plans may not be anywhere near as glamorous (if you can even use this word to describe being a missionary???). But, I  can assure you, if we spend a fortune to educate her and witness her becoming a doctor and she immediately decides to get on a plane headed for India, not one penny will be wasted. We will honestly be able to say goodbye, as painful as it will be knowing we will be separated for years at a time and knowing she will face life threatening trials, that "I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth." 3 John 4

I am exhausted! Pulling this post from the depths of my heart has worn me completely out. I probably should have warned you in the beginning to read with caution. This is just where I'm at right now. I'm honestly trying to search my heart for the answers to these very tough questions. Do I really want what God wants for my children? Do I want the world to be unworthy of them?

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Saturday, June 19, 2010

A Pile of Sticks

A few days ago PopPaw and TaTa (my parents) came down to help out around the house with a few things Monty, physically can't do right now while he is recovering from back surgery. Top on PopPaw's to do list was trimming the tree in our front yard which was quickly taking over. As PopPaw was trimming the tree he was accumulating quite the pile of sticks, which was just as quickly inspiring this homeschooling mom and her kiddos with a project.


As I said once before, we are a history loving family. For years our girls have spent hours, day after day playing "Maggie and Gracie old times." They cross the open prairie in their covered wagon enduring all types of hardships in their mission to homestead in Kansas, all this in the confines of our simple back yard. It is hysterical to watch and amazing to see such creativity. So, you can obviously see we have a healthy fascination with all things Laura Ingalls Wilder. When they are not playing "Maggie and Gracie old times" you can find them creating all kinds of different adventures with their Darbies (Betsie's name for Barbies).

So what happens when you give some creative little homeschool girls with a good dose of pioneer spirit a pile of sticks?


Well, they build a Darbie house on the open prairie of course. We all had an absolute blast. PopPaw, TaTa, Mommy, Maggie, Gracie, and even Grant and Betsie spent the entire morning constructing and imagining life in a one room log cabin (aka...avoiding the to do list).
We still have more work to be done (on the house and around the house). In lew of a roof we've tied down the canvas from our covered wagon to protect the Darbies from the prairie elements (like Pa did in Little House on the Prairie). Therefore, we still need a roof and we need to fill in the cracks with chinking (paper machie) all before winter. (I hear they can be quite fierce on the open prairie, especially in our imaginations!!!) We also want to create some furniture and make some period outfits for our "Darbies." Can you tell we have a slight obsession with details? Trust me, I could go on and on and on. Fun, fun, fun!!!

Have I told you what an absolute blast it is to be a homeschooler!!! The spontaneous learning experiences are totally thrilling. And what a memory maker....all of us working together using our imaginations, talking, laughing and creating. Now that is priceless. This is a memory we will never forget and we will treasure this house for always.

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Saturday, June 12, 2010

My Happy Place

Okay, now who am I kidding? Technically this is not my official "Happy Place" that would be Disney World, but for some reason they refuse to believe I really am Cinderella and that is my castle!!!


So, ya know, a girls gotta live. Definitely not a  close second, but nonetheless second would be my porch. It makes me happy.

I feel like such the "Southern Belle" (said with a deep southern accent) rocking on my Atlanta porch, sipping my ice cold glass of sweet tea,


listening to the melodic sounds of birds chirping and feeling the gentle touch of the early morning Georgia breeze across my skin. This is where I love to wake up in the morning. It is always neat... with the exception of an occasional spider web or the hairy debris on my chair left from the wandering neighborhood cat who has also claimed my porch as his happy  place. But really it isn't my comfy rockers with red and white checked pillows, the big pots of blooming red flowers or all the precious to me antiques or thrift store treasures that make me happy, it's all about who meets me there.



This is where Monty and I have our "porch time", aka....time to talk without the kiddos (even though we turn around to see their little noses pressed up against the glass). This is precious time Monty and I have shared either hashing out a heated issue, sharing our hearts, dreaming of our future or crying out to God for peace, wisdom, and direction. Not to mention the countless hours we spent rocking and feeding tiny little babies.

Most of all this is where I can think and pray and be silent before God. Oh, how I love this spot. This is my "good morning God spot" or shall I say my "God spot." Morning after morning, year after year God has welcomed me here. This is where he has spoken so clearly I've had to look twice at the rocker beside me. It is where he has simply refreshed my soul as I've felt His touch in the gentle breeze. It is where he has become so real to me through the reading of His word. This is where I have begun to understand "the abundant life." This is where He has rocked my world and convicted my heart. This porch has been my sanctuary my house of worship. Now really, who am I kidding, this porch isn't even my "happy place." He is my "happy place" and nothing can compare. This place is simply an old porch apart from Him.


Only with Him does it become my "Happy Place."


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Tuesday, June 8, 2010

I'm not ready for THIS!!!

I know, I know, this is crazy. Anyone in their right mind would be thrilled, actually, completely overjoyed and simply giddy. But...I'm not happy, not happy at all. Honestly, I desperately hope this is an enormous failure. I need time. I need to prepare. This is a big deal and I"M NOT READY FOR THIS!!!




Betsie, my heart, "Mommy's ittle pincess" as she says, my baby (and I mean 30 seconds counts!), got the big idea last night that she wanted to go POTTY! Come on, she's 2 years 3 months and 8 days, what is she thinking? Honestly, who does she think she is? So, I comply and put her on the potty just knowing in all my mommy wisdom and experience she's not ready and this will never work. Well, that little stinker teeteed in the potty! Okay, so beginners luck. It had to be all the attention. I mean she did have an audience of 4 all cheering  and clapping.  "Beginners luck" that's all it can be, right?

Well, big brother, Grant (remember 30 seconds counts) decides this looks pretty cool and he wants in on the action. Okay, I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer and he may be my one and only boy, but I know boys mature much slower than girls and I know he is for sure and for certain NOT ready! Besides, I have no idea how to potty train a boy. That's supposed to be Monty's job and he's out of commission right now recovering from back surgery! What in the world am I going to do? I have no idea what to do....well, you know!!! Now listen folks, I AM NOT HAPPY!!! This is not part of my plan and if you know me you know "my plan" is very important!!! That little booger gets up on that potty like he knows exactly what he's doing and proceeds to perform like he has years of experience.

Now, what's a mommy to do? I have twin babies (and yes, they will always and forever be babies even when they are 23, and I don't want any lip about it) and they are not ready for this. They are too young...NO, NO, NO, Mommy says, NO!!! (I'm jumping up and down now)

So now, guess what Betsie is begging for? "Go Waaamaaat get panties!" How dare she think she is calling the shots here. I am the mommy and I don't want to go to WaaaMaaat and get panties! But, what do I do?



Sooooo....we all load up and go to Waaamaaat to pick out big boy undies and big girl panties!

You cannot believe the excited squeals of shear joy when we get back home and they show Daddy their new treasures, "Pincess panties and Ooody undies!" 


Now, what choice do I have?


So today, June 8, 2010, we officially begin potty training. I am still not happy and I still hope for failure, but I suppose I'll be "the big girl"  and clap and cheer and dance and rejoice with every successful mission and wash and wash and wash every failed attempt. Because, I am the mommy and they are my babies.

edited to add: All is right with the world....Mommy still knows best!!! The babies decided it was entirely too much trouble to stop what they were doing to go potty. Potty time isn't nearly as exciting when playtime is interrupted.
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Monday, May 24, 2010

Field Trip

We recently visited The Atlanta History Center  for homeschool day. The focus of the day was springtime on the Tullie Smith Farm. I had been looking forward to doing this for several years. So.... it was very exciting when it finally worked out that we could go. You see, we are complete history nuts in our family. Yes, we are passing this down joyfully to our children! We are quickly learning that museums are totally our thing. Now I must admit the twins are still in training, but considering they are only two, a few breakdowns during a missed naptime is allowable. All in all each of us had a wonderful day.


 The Tullie Smith farm is an actual 1860's farm from the Atlanta area that has been relocated to the History Center. On homeschool day they have special activities going on all over the farm to help the children experience first hand, everyday life on an 1860's farm.

During the 1860's clay was used to make items such as buttons. The children were given small clumps of clay and shown how to make beads.


Naturally, we had to drag Maggie away from this activity because she could have spent all day adding details to each and every bead! The girls also shared some clay with the twins which quickly became a messy blob.


Grant couldn't quite get the hang of rolling his little hands around to form a ball. His clay continually took on the form of a mashed bumble bee (from I'm Bringing Home a Baby Bumble Bee, one of his favorite songs). Mommy doesn't allow them to play with playdough nearly enough I suppose. I guess I should work on that one?

We also learned about dying fabric. In the 1860's they used whatever they had. We learned a common item used to dye fabric was onion skins. The girls enjoyed twisting fabric, making designs with rubber bands and dipping the fabric in different colored dyes.Gracie's favorite part of the day was learning about where all the colored dyes came from. The girls are still telling people where the color of their clothes comes from.



We also learned that still today,the Cochineal, an insect, is what is used to make red dyes. Yes, not only the red in your clothing but also in your food and cosmetics!!! That will make you reconsider that cherry limeade or that cherry red lipstick won't it?!

Here they are using powder from the Cochineal to dye yarn.


Once again they taught that during that time period nothing was wasted. As an example the children made floating candles by filling walnut shells with wax and a wick.


Maggie's most favorite activity was making candles. Here she is blowing on the hot wax preparing it to add a wick.


 I would love to go back in the fall when I believe they actually make dipped candles.

It's so hard for me to pick just one favorite. So...one of my many favorites was definitely learning about cotton. This was such a huge part of our southern heritage I am thrilled to see my children have the opportunity to experience it first hand. They were taught how to remove the seed from the cotton, which was really tough work and oh so time consuming. This really gave an all new appreciation for Eli Whitney and his invention of the cotton gin!!!They were also taught  how to card the cotton to make batting  and then they were able to actually plant the seeds they got out of the cotton. Another very important bit of information we learned was that it is actually illegal to plant cotton in Georgia without a permit due to the Boll Weevil epidemic that occurred sometime during the 1800s and again in  the early 1900s. Fortunately, the History Center does have a permit so no children were arrested that day.



Here Gracie is so diligently working on getting out the many little seeds buried deep in the cotton.


Finally, they were able to actually plant the cotton seed. We will have to try to come back in November (I believe that is what they said) when the cotton is harvested. That would be so fun for the girls to see how their cotton seed actually grew!


Another fun activity, I've actually been wanting to learn for a long time, was weaving a rag rug. They used what is called a Friendly Loom. Friendly, because it was easy to use and very "child friendly." We are definitely going to have to get Popaw to help us make a loom so we can make rugs at home. These would make wonderful Christmas presents for those oh so special people in our lives.


They were making the rug to look like the American Flag. It is going to be a  gift for our troops. The children were asked to write messages on the white pieces of fabric that they would then weave throughout the rug. The messages, of course, could not be read in the rug, so they were asked to also write them on a piece of paper that would accompany the rug to the troops.

The last activity took place in the farms kitchen, which was of course a separate structure from the house. It was explained to the children that the kitchen was not part of the main house for several reasons, because of the possibility of fire and due to how warm the cooking fires would make the house in the summers. You see our Georgia summers can be rather hot!!!




While the girls were busy with all the different activities we, mostly Monty, keep the twins busy, or should I say the twins kept Monty busy.....

Betsie, doing what she does best, just hanging out looking cute.


Grant, exploring the farm....and boy did he explore.


Grant's favorite part of the day was most definitely the chickens!!!


He was completely fascinated. He was more still here that he was anywhere all day, and I mean really still. He loved it. Bestie joined him for a bit but she was not nearly as interested in the chickens as he was.

Betsie spent a lot of time sitting, waiting patiently on her sisters. You can obviously see here she is seriously missing her naptime.


The final part of our day visiting the Tullie Smith Farm, was an actual visit at the farm  house. We were greeted on the front porch by a lovely lady playing the part of Mrs. Smith. She explained several aspects of life in the 1860's. One thing she discussed was why she was dressed in all black. She told us this was expected dress for a woman of that period who was in mourning. There were many different acceptable guidelines for women in mourning depending on the relationship to the deceased. Socially acceptable time periods were anywhere from 1 1/2 years to honor a spouse to 6 weeks for a very distant relative.


 She also told the children  about the travelers room. This is the room you can see behind her. She explained that in the 1860's, hotels were not available to travelers like they are today. Families often built rooms onto their homes that could be entered from the outside for traveling guests. It really is sad that this is so scary to us today. Can you imagine inviting a stranger, who is just passing through, into your home for the night?

She also explained to the children the reason for the house not having a grassy yard. She told us that this was called a Swept Yard and it was very common in the 1860's. This was to protect the home from snakes and any other critters and to give the family area for doing chores such as laundry and such.


This is an example of a broom they would use to keep the yard swept.



We were then welcomed into the home where it was set up with period antiques similar to what the Smiths would have had.

It was an absolutely wonderful day. We were all a bit tired at the end of the day, but it was so worth it.This was our view in the rear view mirror before we were even out of the parking garage! So precious, dirty little faces and all. They were little troopers.



Well, I'm sure you feel like you've been there by now!!! Thanks for coming along, minus the hot, muggy weather and the Atlanta traffic, of course.
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Thursday, May 13, 2010

Hugs from God

For as long as I can remember I have referred to the simple moments in life, the little, mini blessings, as hugs from God. The past few years have been exceptionally difficult for our family and I have come to appreciate these little blessings so much more. It is so humbling and overwhelming to truly experience how intimately God knows me and how He desires to love me in the simplest of details. It can be as small as a front row parking space on the day I have to force myself to run and errand, when all I really want to do is crawl back in bed. It can be as awesome as the most encouraging call ever when you really feel like the Guinness Book of World Records biggest LOSER!!! Yes, I know in my head "God will never leave you or forsake you Det. 31:6," a lot of us know this, but admit it, some days it just plain feels like we are all alone in this gig. Life is hard and some days you just don't feel like putting up the fight. I know, I have been so spiritually tired it is a struggle to breathe in and out. This is exactly why hugs from God are so precious to me. These hugs carry me. These hugs are God breathing holy air into my spiritually exhausted soul so that I can carry on. Tonight was one of those nights. I am so moved with thankfulness and awe of God's love. You know the saying, "God is never early, God is never late, He is always right on time" tonight was one of those moments. I am simply overwhelmed by His love for me and His impeccable attention to detail. Oh yes, God loves me in the details and I will always treasure these as Hugs from Him.
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